“Relate to” is the correct choice almost every time. “Relate with” appears occasionally, but most style guides and native speakers treat it as nonstandard. If you’re choosing between “I relate to this” and “I relate with this,” go with relate to.
That said, “relate with” isn’t a made-up phrase — it shows up in a narrow, specific context. Here’s how to tell the two apart and use each one correctly.
The Short Answer
Use relate to for both major meanings of the verb:
- To connect or be connected to something (“This chart relates to last year’s sales.”)
- To understand or feel sympathy for someone or something (“I really relate to that character.”)
Relate with is limited to one older, less common sense: describing how two people or things interact with each other, especially in reciprocal or mutual terms. Even here, “relate to” is usually the safer and more widely accepted option.
Why “Relate To” Wins Almost Every Time
English pairs “relate” with “to” because the verb describes a direction — one thing pointing toward, connecting with, or corresponding to another. That’s the same logic behind “belong to,” “listen to,” and “respond to.” The preposition “to” signals a link running from one point to another, which is exactly what “relate” describes.
“Relate with” tries to suggest mutual interaction, similar to “interact with” or “connect with.” But because “relate to” already covers that ground comfortably, “relate with” never fully caught on. Dictionaries list it, but usage guides flag it as far less common and often unnecessary.
Examples in a Sentence
Relate To (Connection or Correspondence)
- These new figures relate to the report we discussed last week.
- The policy relates to employees hired after 2020.
- I don’t see how your comment relates to the topic.
Relate To (Understanding or Sympathy)
- Anyone who’s moved to a new city can relate to this story.
- She struggled to relate to her coworkers at first.
- I relate to what you’re saying more than you know.
Relate With (Mutual Interaction — Rare)
- He finds it hard to relate with people outside his field.
- Managers who relate with their teams build more trust.
Notice that in both examples above, swapping in “relate to” (“relate to people outside his field,” “relate to their teams”) works just as well and sounds more natural to most readers.
Which to Use When
| Situation | Correct Choice |
|---|---|
| Describing how two facts or topics connect | relate to |
| Saying you understand or sympathize | relate to |
| Formal, academic, or business writing | relate to |
| Describing mutual interaction between people (informal, rare) | relate with (or safely, relate to) |
Key Takeaways
- Relate to is the standard, correct preposition in almost all cases, whether you mean “connect to” or “understand/sympathize with.”
- Relate with exists but is rare, informal, and limited to describing mutual interaction.
- When in doubt, “relate to” works in every context “relate with” does, plus many more.
- Formal and academic writing should stick to “relate to” exclusively.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “relate with” grammatically wrong?
Not technically wrong, but it’s uncommon and considered nonstandard by most style guides. It’s safer to use “relate to” instead, even in casual writing.
Can I say “I relate with you” instead of “I relate to you”?
You can, but “I relate to you” is far more natural and widely used. Native speakers rarely say “relate with” when expressing understanding or connection.
Does “relate to” ever need a different preposition?
No. “Relate” almost always pairs with “to” in modern English, regardless of whether you mean a factual connection or a personal, emotional one.
Is “relatable” connected to this same rule?
Yes. “Relatable” comes from the “relate to” sense of understanding or sympathy — something is relatable when people can relate to it.
Should I use “relate to” in formal or academic writing?
Yes, always. “Relate to” is the accepted standard in formal, business, and academic contexts; “relate with” can read as a minor error to careful readers.
Next time you’re unsure which preposition to reach for, remember that “relate to” almost never steers you wrong. Browse the site for more quick, clear answers to the word choices that trip up even careful writers.
